I'm feeling a bit...ok A LOT!!!!!!!...spastic tonight. For some reason, I decided to find a bunch of family members on facebook and add them as friends. What possessed me to do this, I do not know.
What is this obsession with family? I am absolutely TERRIFIED that they will all reject me. Of course, I'm terrified that they'll reject me on principle (just because I'm me, and I have always been "defective"), but now they must also contend with the fact that I'm a (GASP!) lesbian! (Cue scary music)
Just waiting for rejection...whimper! Why do I do this to myself? Why do I keep trying to find this connection with people who share my DNA? Do I really think they'll ever accept me? Some of them have...but have they really accepted me, or are they merely tolerating me because I don't push them to define their feelings toward me? And why - WHYYYYYYY????????? - do I care?
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